


A Dumpster Duel

by ThreeHats



Category: Sesame Street (TV), Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 16:16:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6335752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He smiled again, this one less self-satisfied, before continuing his journey into the depths of a literal dump. This place was a hot-spot for drug-deals, or at least, that's what he had been told by a particularly eager CI. Maybe using the word 'eager' to describe a 'beaver' was a bit racist, but Nick didn't have to tell anyone else, and that familiar smirk returned, his eyes half-lidding as the smugness washed over him like something that didn't smell like used diapers.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dumpster Duel

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 **Characters:** Nick Wilde, Oscar the Grouch

 **Location** A dump

 **Scenario** In a duel (Swords or cards)

 

The mounds rose triumphantly out of the ground, reaching towards the sky in vain. They were multicolored, from brown, to black, to a different shade of brown. There was nothing quite like it. At his feet rested the discarded remains of someone's breakfast from what could have been months ago. To his left, an old, rusted washing machine. To his right, a dryer with the plexiglass shattered.

  
_At least this place had some decent amenities_ , he thought to himself, the sly grin that never quite left his face widening just a bit. His eyes, protected from the sun that was now starting to beat down quite insistently, hid behind a mirrored pair of aviator sunglasses that he thought he looked quite handsome in. Donned in his best hawai'ian shirt, he sucked in a deep breath through his nose, then immediately regretted his decision as the filth penetrated his sensitive nostrils. He sneezed, his nose proclaiming his offense, some of his spittle resting on his badge. He clicked his tongue at himself, then pulled the corner of his sleeve over his paw and wiped it off diligently. It shined just as happily as before, his name resting proudly on a plate below it--Nicholas Wilde.

  
He smiled again, this one less self-satisfied, before continuing his journey into the depths of a literal dump. This place was a hot-spot for drug-deals, or at least, that's what he had been told by a particularly eager CI. Maybe using the word 'eager' to describe a 'beaver' was a bit racist, but Nick didn't have to tell anyone else, and that familiar smirk returned, his eyes half-lidding as the smugness washed over him like something that didn't smell like used diapers.

  
Sipping the last few drops from his coffee cup, Nick glanced around at the garbage that surrounded him. A half-hearted shrug was all that he allowed himself as an excuse before tossing the cup over his shoulder into yet another pile of trash.

  
But instead of the empty clatter of the styrofoam, a rough cry erupted from the action, and Nick whipped around to spot a familiarly grotesque face.

  
"Oscar! My main man, my garbage can, showing people there is no such thing as a garbage can't," the words poured out of him like bullshit from a bovine's ass, and the content wasn't too far off. Oscar was not amused, but then again, Oscar was never amused.

  
"The hell, Nick? You're part of the fuzz now?" The unidentifiable green mammal narrowed his eyes incredulously at the intruder, implying that their relationship was nowhere near as familiar as Nick was hoping his greeting would make it seem.

  
"Ah ha!" the fox laughed half-heartedly in response. "That's a good one, Oscar. But yes, I am a cop now. But enough about me, how have you been? Your place is looking just as spotless as ever."

  
"Can the shit, Wilde," Oscar barked--so was he a dog?--and Nicked shut his mouth while removing his sweet-ass glasses. "What the hell are you doing here? You were trouble before. Why the hell would I want you around now?"

  
"Well, Oscar," Nick said, loosening his tie in an effort to appear casual. "Word's been going around that people have been dealing a lot of Fluff in these parts. You think you might have heard anything about that?"

  
"Fuck if I know," the grouch responded, pulling the rest of his chubby body out from the piles of garbage to pick up the cup that Nick threw.

  
"Come on now, that's not very helpful to me, is it?" Nick responded, turning up the slime just a bit in an effort to appear relatable. "Is there anything that might be able to jog your memory?"

  
Placing the discarded coffee container in a very meticulous way atop a decidedly unmeticulous pile, Oscar looked at him again, this time with purpose. He opened his mouth, replying dryly, "How about some cards?"

  
Nick swallowed, the grin vanishing. He felt his fur bristle at the idea.

"Now, hang on just a second," he said. "Those things are illegal. You know that! They're too dangerous. And you don't even have the dis--oh no wait there you go you got 'em okay." The words dribbled helplessly out of his mouth as he eagerly tried to find an excuse to get him out of the proposed game.

  
"Yeah, Wilde," Now it was Oscar's turn to smirk as he revealed two completely intact Duel Disks. "What do you think KappaCorp did with all their disks when they got banned? They threw them away. I've got a whole army of 'em here."

  
Nick sighed through pinched lips, feeling the air press insistently against his diaphragm as he released it. Tucking his glasses into his pocket, he nodded once as he stepped forward to accept the instrument. He was out of leads, and to be completely honest... He kind of missed breaking the law once in a while. And speeding just wasn't enough.

  
"Just don't tell my partner," he warned as he slid the metal up his arm and it clamped familiarly around his wrist. He felt a small rush of adrenaline course through his gut as he activated it, several monsters flickering to life before them as he pulled the deck out from the container to shuffle it. The green monster grinned, holding up his own as he challenged the other loudly.

  
"Let's duel."


End file.
